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“I’ve been dating a wonderful man for over a year.

When we’re together, we act like a serious couple—we hang out with each other’s friends, do fun activities, meet each other’s families, and he even says he loves me.

But there’s one big issue: he doesn’t want to fully commit to an exclusive relationship.

I want a boyfriend, not a casual date. How can I make him commit without pressuring him?”

Commitment often feels like giving up on all other possibilities, especially the freedom of choice.

For some, that freedom is too precious to lose.

<Signs of a Rebellious Bone>

A key psychological hurdle to commitment is Regret Aversion—the desire to avoid the regret of choosing wrong by not making a decision at all.

If there’s no immediate cost to staying uncommitted, why limit yourself? But introduce a cost—like losing you—and suddenly, the stakes shift.

In your case, the cost is losing the relationship with you; the benefit is staying open to other potential relationships.

The good news is that “losses loom larger than gains.”

Human beings are wired to fear loss more than they value a potential gain.

This is known as Loss Aversion. People tend to assign more value to things they own and invest in—this is the Endowment Effect.

But for him to feel the potential loss of you deeply enough to commit, you’ll need to amplify what your relationship means to him, making the thought of losing you more painful than the freedom to explore other options.

An enjoyable way to do this is by nurturing a hobby or activity—something that allows you both to learn, share joy, compete, cooperate, rely on each other, and grow together.

The deeper the investment in this partnership, the stronger the bond. If this doesn’t inspire commitment, few other moves will.

<Who Is The Committed Type?>